Herbal pain relief

*what I am doing is illegal and I am not suggesting that anyone else does*

Yesterday I had a migraine all day, it was awful, had my exam, the cocodamol I have wasn’t helping and it was a really bad day.

I have been thinking about it for a while, to try a herbal remedy to smoke, to see if it helps with pain relief and all my ailments, and I had read up about it a lot before hand, and I just gave in, I had a friend bring me some round. And I went on to the patio and well had a go.

I did not like it!!! It was such a weird feeling, for the first 30 mins, I felt like I was stuck outside.

Then, I came inside, and felt such an odd sense of relaxation, it was weirdly wonderful, and then I genuinely got the munchies lol. However, my eyes felt weird and so did my heart – big time.

I then watched a shark documentary, and went to sleep. I woke up 8 hours later after having the most refreshing sleep ever.

My views on this are 50/50, I think I would do it again, maybe regularly, maybe not. Maybe depending on the way I am feeling, but it definitely isn’t something I would use for recreational use.

Anyway, thought I would share, as I am anonymous lol >.<

Hope you are all having a good day ❤

Rose Bones xo

SPOOONS GLORIOUS SPOOONS

Hi everyone ^_^

After such a bad day yesterday where I honestly think I woke up with 5 spoons, today I have so many! (Probably about 25 but in comparison >.<). I have a feeling this will be along post but bare with bare with.

So Firstly I had a DR appt today, and I went in fully expecting to be shot down again. But this lovely DR gave me the strong painkillers that I needed because I said look, I have exams coming up, I need them, and she agreed. But she also explained as to why they keep taking me off them is because I am so young, which is understandable! And I am also trying to get hold of some crutches but I am being sent all over the place, so fingers crossed that gets solved next week at my next OT appt.

Secondly, I did a weee bit of shopping today, bought some dry shampoo for my bad days :p so I don’t have to have greasy hair, and I also some bought a few bits from New Look, mainly alice bands as I am too tired to do my hair, and they look great with my freshly dip dyed pink hair!!

Thirdly – I have got round to doing some paper work. Boringgg. But I have finally put everything together for my DSA forms to send off for uni because I have a feeling they haven’t done all my paperwork correctly as I seem to be missing 1k for next year, which is a lot of money! So need to sort that out, and also I have all my PIP stuff to be sent off, but I need someone to come help me with that first – and I made the phone call for that, pretty proud of myself lol.

Lastly, I did some revision – I say some as in I read over somethings and not entirely sure I know any of it, and my exam is tomorrow, but I have submitted mitigating circumstances because of everything going on, so hopefully that will go in my favour.

I have also made a start on my dissertation, (over the last few weeks) so just waiting for my supervisor to email me back although he is an elusive one.

So yeah, things are coming along, slowly but surely!

Just want to quickly add in that I have discovered almond butter and it is the most glorious thing known to man, I am in love, smothered on banana or apple… *Drooling just thinking about it*.

I just want to give a massive shout out to Rosie. She tweets me with supportive things all the time, and I don’t use twitter much, and I don’t get the notifications to my phone because I hate notifications to anything! but please go to this lovely lady’s blog and give her a massive follow ❤ http://rosiesbeautyuk.blogspot.co.uk/

Okay I think that’s it for now! I am now running low on spoons and I actually want to have a nice dinner this evening so back to resting ❤

Rose Bones ox 

Giving up

Before anyone worrys. If you would.

I am not going to give up. It’s not the answer. But today i am so close to just throwing in the towel and being like thats it. I’m done.

This isn’t natural. To be this tired. To feel the way I do. I have done nothing today. I have slept 12 hours of the last 24. And I am still shattered.

I’m running out of things to feel positive about. I’m going to go to sleep again now!

Just hope I wake up better tomorrow

Rose bones xo

Followers

Hey.

Last night I was up till 3am because of the pain. I then woke up at 7.

Went to uni for 2 hours.

Came home. Rested for 4.

The pain is so so bad today. Just in all my joints. Can barely walk.

I feel completely and utterly fed up and done 😦

But there are 28 lovely people out there who are following me and it’s lovely to know at least some of you are reading this 🙂 it does help.

I can literally say anything because no one knows who I am!

I hate my body!!!! CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME/M.E. YOU HAVE RUINED MY LIFE. 21 year olds shouldn’t feel like this! But I won’t give up.

I have the OT tomorrow and I have hospital transport and all I can think is they will buzz for the wrong flat and then i won’t be taken to my appt. But once I am there, I really hope they help me out. I am suffering big time.

Anyway I need some sleep. I will update tomorrow.

Over and out

Rose Bones xo

A little catch up

Hey everyone!

I’m literally lying in bed after a lovely day but I am zonked! So much has happend though. I just haven’t had the energy to type.

I have been to the M.E. clinic and got my official diagnosis and i am now regularly seeing an occupational therapist 🙂 but sadly I have had to ask for a shower stool and some crutches after a few horrible falls 😦 my legs have given out completely!

I’ve got 3 exams and I have somehow finished my second year at uni!!!!! Hopefully having the summer off will help me out sooo much.

I’ve also put in a claim to PIP as I cannot live the way i am at all. I need help. I cannot cope on my own 😦

I’ve also gained some weight again and I feel awful for it. Not entirely sure what to do anymore. Got too much going on to worry about that now though.

I started writing a book about me, and I haven’t updated it in such a long time but it’s going to be a slow but good progress type thing.

I think thats a brief catch up. I feel like my little project has failed immensely but maybe it will be a good summer thing to do.

So lucky I have you guys. Even if there are a few of you. Just someone reading makes a lot of difference.

Love Rose Bones xo

Wow!

So sorry it’s been such a long time. Just feel like nothing has really happened.

Been struggling a lot. Constant battle. And been so tired to even write anything. Things are getting worse.

Hope everyone else is okay ❤

Hopefully I’ll have the energy to write properly soon x

Yesterday was an emotional rollercoaster.

Was not a good day yesterday. I ended up arguing none stop with my mum, she just wouldn’t drop anything, then she ruined my frying pan and got some others that were scratched and said she was going to bin them all, so I smashed them, not intentionally but it felt so gooooood.

The annoying thing, yesterday was a good spoon day and it was wasted. But I felt like I wanted to write my life into a book and then drop out of uni and live off the royalties haha.

So I actually started writing, and we will see how far I go. This is the 3rd time I’ve done this, but I’m further through it now than I ever was!

Today was loan day! Hi loan, bye loan. Everyone is paid off though! And I should probably be doing my assignment rather than writing on here or writing a book! Oh well, here goes nothing right!

Hope everyone is okay and I should hopefully get to being a good blogger soon again.

Love Rose Bones xo 

Hiii

Sorry guys for not posting for almost a week. Not been having the best time. Lack of spoons  (see last post).

But I thought I should give an update. Currently blogging from my phone whilst running a bath. Today is a good day 🙂

Had a bit of a falling out with my best friend, but I won’t go into details as she was being incredibly selfish and not in the mood for pettiness!

My grandad isn’t very well, please send him some get well thoughts.

I lost 3 pounds this week which I am overjoyed with! Wasnt expecting it all. Salads and hard work paid off! Now to find some energy and get back to the gym (I joke :0).

3/4 the way through my uni assignment as well which i am rather happy with!

And I’ve caught up on game of thrones and naughtily watched the leaked ones too. Oopsie.

Rosie on twitter wanted to see some crochet stuff I’ve done so I will leave you with some of them 🙂

Spooooons

Hey! Sorry I didn’t keep up with the daily blogs already but I ran out of spoons, crazy as that sounds right.

A few of you have probably heard of the term “Spoonie” before, if not, I think it’s an amazing analogy to describe someone with a chronic illness.

Imagine you wake up with 50 spoons, and for every action you do it takes 1 spoon away e.g. get up, get dressed, have breakfast, leave the house, go to work, get to work, work. 7 spoons right there, but that’s okay you have 43 left. So perhaps after work you have say 30 left or if it was a long busy day 25. So some people might go to the gym? I will give you 5 spoons for that because that’s hard work, and then there’s the shower and the drive home, so 7 spoons in total, so you get home, and it’s 7pm, and you have 18 spoons left! Brilliant, that’s dinner sorted, make dinner, eat dinner, maybe talk to your partner, if you have kids, talking to them, doing they’re work with them, so now you’re on 14. 14 spoons, what can you do with 14 spoons?! A lot! So you’ll watch some TV – take a spoon for every hour. So it’s now 10pm, you might read, watch some more TV, you might have 10 spoons left, so that’s great, you go to bed feeling relaxed and happy.

Imagine starting your day with only 20 spoons. That’s the best way to describe a chronic illness, we have to weigh up every day and decide what is worth spending a spoon on. For me today it’s 12:32pm and I woke up feeling okay so I reckon I had 25 spoons today. So I got up, made some breakfast, ate breakfast, unloaded the dishwasher, put my washing away, went back to bed, 6 spoons gone already. I then had some assignment to write, I’ve almost finished it – 2 spoons away for an hours work. so I’m now on 16 spoons, I really needed a shower as I do need to go out today, 15 spoons, I haven’t dried my hair or plaited it because I need my spoons. I will make some lunch in a bit 14 spoons. Then as it is such lovely weather outside I am going to use my spoons and go for a short bike ride to Hobbycraft so I can finish off some crochet things so I can send them – hopefully today. That trip will cost me 7 spoons. So I will have 7 for the rest of the day. That’s dinner – 3 spoons as I only cook quick and convenient meals which doesn’t help my weight loss 😦 (which I think I am going really bad at) so just including my small trip out and dinner I only have 4 spoons left to do things that I want to do.

Whether that’s watching a film, or doing some crochet, perhaps some more work. I have to really work out what I need to do. And today is a good day on a holiday! Imagine what it’s like for me going to university, when I get home I do nothing as I used all my spoons getting there and staying awake and then getting home! Some days I think it might be easier to sleep at uni.

But then imagine what it’s like on a bad day where I might only have 15 spoons and I have lectures from 10am to 6pm – that’s my standard Monday. It’s happened. And people ask me well if you’re that tired and ill, how are you awake, why don’t you go home, and the answer is simple. I always keep at least one spoon in reserve, there’s no point giving up on life if you have a chronic illness, the only way to keep going forward is to battle every single day.

My mum is the least understanding person about this, well maybe that’s an exaggeration, she loves me, and I think she does want to try, but she just seems to still feel like I am being lazy. I’m being “lazy” because I want to reserve my spoons so I can enjoy everyday even if it’s a bad day.

i hope maybe this helps you understand someone with a chronic illness and that as much as they look like they might be struggling, the fact they are still here fighting – be it silently or not – that they are still fighting, and what’s worst is, it is against themselves!

Love you all guys

Rose Bones xoxo